My BIG girl...

Happy EIGHTH month birthday, baby. How is it possibly fair you are celebrating in Heaven? How is it possible I've not been able to see you on your fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and now eighth month birthdays? It doesn't seem possible... or as I always say... at all fair. Somedays I wonder how I'll celebrate dozens of more birthdays of yours without you. Somedays I want nothing more than to just come and see you. I hope you are getting some super big snuggles... I'm sending you lots.

I'm sitting next to Cash right now and he has a little fever. I should be sitting here stressing and hoping you don't catch whatever bug he has... but I don't get to... I guess I should be thankful you don't ever have to experience yucky sick bugs. It's hard to be thankful for anything that involves you being in Heaven.

I was giving Cash a bath last night and thinking how much fun you guys would have had taking baths together and if you weren't in the bath at that moment, you'd probably be close to crawling. Sitting and moving all around our floors... My mind can't even think of what you'd look like at this age. I just think of you as sixteen weeks... maybe just bigger.

I miss you so very much. I wish so much you were here. I wish you were snuggling with us on the couch right now. I wish I got to snuggle you when you were sick. I wish I didn't have to miss out on so much of your life. I know Heaven is amazing. I'd do anything to just be able to come for a visit... I love you so much, little girl... to Heaven and back.