Day 5

Today was a sad day. We went to Costco and got a beautiful, big picture of you to display at your memorial. We also printed pictures and picked out some of your favorite stuff to take to the church. We took your apple, your swaddle wrap, your Easter dress, your denim mini skirt, your Jovi sign from your room, your "J" from your room, one of your cozy blankies, your quilt, your birth certificate, your hand/footprints from when you were born, your little black boots, the bunny Cash made you, your bracelet, and your sunglasses. It was hard to pick items that summed up your life. No artifacts could sum it up. I miss you so much today. I feel more depressed today. Like there isn't much to be happy about. People keep giving us money which is such a blessing but I can't seem to be happy about it because I want you back. I'd take a mountain of debt to have you here. Again, it's the night and I'd do anything to be sitting here nursing you. I just want you back more than anything. I wish you were sleeping in your bed next to me. Tomorrow is going to be so hard to say goodbye to you. I miss you baby. More than I can say.